Monday, October 7, 2013
Day 1 with Deitrich
So today I decided to begin a 40 day devotional based on Deitrich Bonhoeffer's Life Together. This is located on the Bible Gateway site and here is the link.
Here are the Journal Questions for today:
Journal Reflections
To be a disciple is not just to believe in Jesus, it is to follow Jesus. In your journal, reflect on the ways in which you are presently following Jesus.
Do you experience your discipleship as “joy”? Is the “burden” of your discipleship “light”?
Do you sense there are places Jesus might want to lead you where you would rather not go? If so, where are they and what is holding you back?
I find that I am currently following Jesus in simple ways. I serve in my church as an active participant. I teach Sunday School and volunteer when needed for things. I am also a dad and husband. This requires me to be present and love my family at all times.
However, we are presently seeking God about an appointment as the pastor of a church in another town. It would mean a major move for us and taking us away from the familiar and more specifically from family. This is a harder decision to make than I was prepared for. Mainly I find it difficult because my father and mother are getting older. Relatively, they are not that old. He is in his late 60's and she is in her mid 60's.
But, I have to admit that a part of me is torn. I am not sure which side of me is beign selfish. Is it selfish to want to be near family? Is it selfish to want to serve God and be away from them? Or is it selfless to want to serve others and be far away from family?
I find that Kingdom principles require us to not hold onto the temporary. And, whether we believe it or not, our family is just temporary. If we are able to separate ourselves from the emotion and look at the eternal principle we can see that making the decision to live far away from those we love in the temporary has eternal reward. I mean, when we leave this world, if our loved ones are believers, we are looking at just the beginning of eternity to hang out with them.
So, in a sense, I would rather NOT leave my parents here; but at the same time I would LOVE to be back in the Northeast,serving one of the two most unreached people groups of the U.S. A guess a good question would be, "What would Jesus do?" He would leave Capernium to "preach in the other villages". He would send Paul to Rome, John to Patmus, Thomas to India. He is always stretching us, rarely leaving us in one particular place where we gain false security.
It is hard to discern, but I see a need. This is where faith meets the road of unsurity. So, I am stepping out by faith that He will stop us and not let us do anything outside of His will.
Thy Kingdom Come, Thy WILL be Done!
Monday, January 21, 2013
Worm Hell: Discovering the Importance of Fellowship and Accountability
Fellowship and Accountability: An inseperable necessity in the Kingdom of God
I once wrote a poem many years ago that talked about that feeling that one gets when he walks across a sidewalk in the middle of the summer with no shoes own. You know that feeling. Your toes feel like they are on fire. The idea of Worm Hell was based on glancing down at the sidewalk that you just crossed and seeing a perfectly recognizable worm that had dried up and died right in the middle of that sidewalk. We all know exactly why he died. He was not in a nurturing environment.
A little over a year ago my wife and I, through the encouragement of my parents, decided to become ordained with a mainline denomination. Mind you, this denomination is very large, very influential ; making the decision to join a much easier one. But today I find myself ready to resign from the denomination because of two major components that we have not had: Fellowship and Accountability.
But this is not a characteristic of this group alone. This can be found in almost every major denomination today. And, because of American society in particular, we see it magnified in our church culture. Let's face it, America was founded on independence. The end results has been a sense of "You leave me alone and I will leave you alone". And, politically speaking, that is probably a good idea. But in the Kingdom of God it is a violation of the values of Jesus.
Going back to the Garden of Eden God declares that "it is not good for a man to be alone". He took time to create a helpmate, someone to fellowship with and someone to be responsible (accountable) to.
And in John 13:35 Jesus says this: "By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.” It could read "all people will know that you are my disciplined ones". And discipline requires accountability. So, we see that these special ingredients are values that we all must have. Not Fellowship alone. Not Accountability alone. But Both. This creates a nurturing environment that encourages a healthy Christian walk.
Living where we have been for the past three and a half years has been our Worm Hell (and this is not a reference to the unbearable heat that Southeastern NC offers to snow lovers). I say that not because I don't have a wonderful place to work. I couldn't ask for a better place to work or a better relationship with my boss. And, it isn't because we are far from family. Quite the opposite. Family is less than an hour away and it is great to be near them (this is perhaps the hardest part for me personally to change). And it isn't about not having a church to attend that we love the people at. Shoreline Church is a good church.
But it is this weird feeling of being in the middle of the sidewalk. You know, you just don't quite belong. Your environment is warm and easy to get around on but you just aren't in the place that makes you feel...cozy. I am not talking about comfort here. I am talking about being in the environment that you thrive in. For us it is a combination of things. But I want to put this in a series of questions with possible answers.
Question 1: Do you have a sense of community?
Answer: No.
Question 2: Do you have healthy relationships that result in Fellowship and Accountability?
Answer: No.
Question 3: Do you connect with a church in your community?
Answer: No
Question 4: Are you accountable to anyone?
Answer: No.
Question 5: Do you have a sense of purpose or mission in your community?
Answer: No.
My answers are dominantly "no". But, if you can answer "yes" to these questions then you are probably in a healthy place for you spiritually and you need to stay put. If you couldn't answer "yes" to these questions then you are either a) in a place where you could be healthy or b) resisting the changes God wants to make in you so you are healthy.
But, if, like myself, you answered "no" then you may need to evaluate why you are stuck in Worm Hell. Note here, I did not say you were not in the center of the Father's will. The worm, like Paul, is in his own desert place. He starts out inching his way through this time of being alone, with no obstruction (i.e. grass, other bugs, etc.).
You may be like that. You may be in what seems like the middle of nowhere and no idea when you will get there. Or for that matter what "there" is. And it is real easy to get so comfortable or miserable or faithless or have deferred hope that, like the worm, you just stop moving. You know you can't go back but you don't move forward. It is in that place and in that moment that you die, dry up and blow away.
Unlike the worm, you MUST look ahead, walk by faith and know that when you get to the 'other side' you will be alright. The New Testament is loaded with language of not giving up, pressing onward and running the race. Nowhere does it say stop, shrivel up and die.
But, this begs the question, "When do we know to move forward to that nurturing environment?" This may sound cliché, but I think you just know. I think you reach this point where God makes it very clear that if you stay here much longer you are going to shrivel up and die.
That seems to be where I am at. I am in a place, personally, where I know that God has a calling on my life to do the work of the Kingdom. It isn't for everyone, but for me, anything less places in me in danger of Worm Hell.
What about you? Are you in Worm Hell? Are you between nurturing environments? Have you found yourself in a "dry and weiry land"?
If you have you can only do a few of things::
1. You can go back to the environment that you came from that you know was good for you.
2. You can move forward to the next environment you are suppose to be in that will be nurturing.
3. You can stop moving and make your permanent residence in Worm Hell.
Worm Hell is not the permanent address of the Christian walk. Look at God's response to Jonah's Worm Hell experience in Jonah 4:
5 Jonah went out of the city and sat to the east of the city and made a booth for himself there. He sat under it in the shade, till he should see what would become of the city. 6 Now the Lord God appointed a plant[b] and made it come up over Jonah, that it might be a shade over his head, to save him from his discomfort.[c] So Jonah was exceedingly glad because of the plant. 7 But when dawn came up the next day, God appointed a worm that attacked the plant, so that it withered. 8 When the sun rose, God appointed a scorching east wind, and the sun beat down on the head of Jonah so that he was faint. And he asked that he might die and said, “It is better for me to die than to live.” 9 But God said to Jonah, “Do you do well to be angry for the plant?” And he said, “Yes, I do well to be angry, angry enough to die.” 10 And the Lord said, “You pity the plant, for which you did not labor, nor did you make it grow, which came into being in a night and perished in a night. 11 And should not I pity Nineveh, that great city, in which there are more than 120,000 persons who do not know their right hand from their left, and also much cattle?”
God did not allow Jonah to sit down and die. He gave him a season in Worm Hell and even gave him some comfort. But he quickly destroyed his comfort, thus encouraging him to move on.
This is what God is in the business of. He takes us to those dry places to make us long of more. More of him, more of his Kingdom. He promises us in Matthew 5:6 "Blessed are those who hunger and thirst after righteousness, for they shall be filled (satisfied)."
Isn't that the irony the Kingdom? We have to be placed in our own Worm Hell in order to learn to Hunger and Thirst again.
Perhaps you have reached that place where you need Fellowship and Accountability. Maybe you find yourself in the middle of your own Worm Hell. Press on. Or go back. But never stop. Ask and it shall be given. Seek and you shall find.
My prayer is for all of us to experience a season of the Worm Hell of lack of Fellowship and Accountability, but only to build a hunger and thirst for the Kingdom. Begin to pray that God will reveal to you your own dryness and need for these missing elements.
I once wrote a poem many years ago that talked about that feeling that one gets when he walks across a sidewalk in the middle of the summer with no shoes own. You know that feeling. Your toes feel like they are on fire. The idea of Worm Hell was based on glancing down at the sidewalk that you just crossed and seeing a perfectly recognizable worm that had dried up and died right in the middle of that sidewalk. We all know exactly why he died. He was not in a nurturing environment.
A little over a year ago my wife and I, through the encouragement of my parents, decided to become ordained with a mainline denomination. Mind you, this denomination is very large, very influential ; making the decision to join a much easier one. But today I find myself ready to resign from the denomination because of two major components that we have not had: Fellowship and Accountability.
But this is not a characteristic of this group alone. This can be found in almost every major denomination today. And, because of American society in particular, we see it magnified in our church culture. Let's face it, America was founded on independence. The end results has been a sense of "You leave me alone and I will leave you alone". And, politically speaking, that is probably a good idea. But in the Kingdom of God it is a violation of the values of Jesus.
Going back to the Garden of Eden God declares that "it is not good for a man to be alone". He took time to create a helpmate, someone to fellowship with and someone to be responsible (accountable) to.
And in John 13:35 Jesus says this: "By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.” It could read "all people will know that you are my disciplined ones". And discipline requires accountability. So, we see that these special ingredients are values that we all must have. Not Fellowship alone. Not Accountability alone. But Both. This creates a nurturing environment that encourages a healthy Christian walk.
Living where we have been for the past three and a half years has been our Worm Hell (and this is not a reference to the unbearable heat that Southeastern NC offers to snow lovers). I say that not because I don't have a wonderful place to work. I couldn't ask for a better place to work or a better relationship with my boss. And, it isn't because we are far from family. Quite the opposite. Family is less than an hour away and it is great to be near them (this is perhaps the hardest part for me personally to change). And it isn't about not having a church to attend that we love the people at. Shoreline Church is a good church.
But it is this weird feeling of being in the middle of the sidewalk. You know, you just don't quite belong. Your environment is warm and easy to get around on but you just aren't in the place that makes you feel...cozy. I am not talking about comfort here. I am talking about being in the environment that you thrive in. For us it is a combination of things. But I want to put this in a series of questions with possible answers.
Question 1: Do you have a sense of community?
Answer: No.
Question 2: Do you have healthy relationships that result in Fellowship and Accountability?
Answer: No.
Question 3: Do you connect with a church in your community?
Answer: No
Question 4: Are you accountable to anyone?
Answer: No.
Question 5: Do you have a sense of purpose or mission in your community?
Answer: No.
My answers are dominantly "no". But, if you can answer "yes" to these questions then you are probably in a healthy place for you spiritually and you need to stay put. If you couldn't answer "yes" to these questions then you are either a) in a place where you could be healthy or b) resisting the changes God wants to make in you so you are healthy.
But, if, like myself, you answered "no" then you may need to evaluate why you are stuck in Worm Hell. Note here, I did not say you were not in the center of the Father's will. The worm, like Paul, is in his own desert place. He starts out inching his way through this time of being alone, with no obstruction (i.e. grass, other bugs, etc.).
You may be like that. You may be in what seems like the middle of nowhere and no idea when you will get there. Or for that matter what "there" is. And it is real easy to get so comfortable or miserable or faithless or have deferred hope that, like the worm, you just stop moving. You know you can't go back but you don't move forward. It is in that place and in that moment that you die, dry up and blow away.
Unlike the worm, you MUST look ahead, walk by faith and know that when you get to the 'other side' you will be alright. The New Testament is loaded with language of not giving up, pressing onward and running the race. Nowhere does it say stop, shrivel up and die.
But, this begs the question, "When do we know to move forward to that nurturing environment?" This may sound cliché, but I think you just know. I think you reach this point where God makes it very clear that if you stay here much longer you are going to shrivel up and die.
That seems to be where I am at. I am in a place, personally, where I know that God has a calling on my life to do the work of the Kingdom. It isn't for everyone, but for me, anything less places in me in danger of Worm Hell.
What about you? Are you in Worm Hell? Are you between nurturing environments? Have you found yourself in a "dry and weiry land"?
If you have you can only do a few of things::
1. You can go back to the environment that you came from that you know was good for you.
2. You can move forward to the next environment you are suppose to be in that will be nurturing.
3. You can stop moving and make your permanent residence in Worm Hell.
Worm Hell is not the permanent address of the Christian walk. Look at God's response to Jonah's Worm Hell experience in Jonah 4:
5 Jonah went out of the city and sat to the east of the city and made a booth for himself there. He sat under it in the shade, till he should see what would become of the city. 6 Now the Lord God appointed a plant[b] and made it come up over Jonah, that it might be a shade over his head, to save him from his discomfort.[c] So Jonah was exceedingly glad because of the plant. 7 But when dawn came up the next day, God appointed a worm that attacked the plant, so that it withered. 8 When the sun rose, God appointed a scorching east wind, and the sun beat down on the head of Jonah so that he was faint. And he asked that he might die and said, “It is better for me to die than to live.” 9 But God said to Jonah, “Do you do well to be angry for the plant?” And he said, “Yes, I do well to be angry, angry enough to die.” 10 And the Lord said, “You pity the plant, for which you did not labor, nor did you make it grow, which came into being in a night and perished in a night. 11 And should not I pity Nineveh, that great city, in which there are more than 120,000 persons who do not know their right hand from their left, and also much cattle?”
God did not allow Jonah to sit down and die. He gave him a season in Worm Hell and even gave him some comfort. But he quickly destroyed his comfort, thus encouraging him to move on.
This is what God is in the business of. He takes us to those dry places to make us long of more. More of him, more of his Kingdom. He promises us in Matthew 5:6 "Blessed are those who hunger and thirst after righteousness, for they shall be filled (satisfied)."
Isn't that the irony the Kingdom? We have to be placed in our own Worm Hell in order to learn to Hunger and Thirst again.
Perhaps you have reached that place where you need Fellowship and Accountability. Maybe you find yourself in the middle of your own Worm Hell. Press on. Or go back. But never stop. Ask and it shall be given. Seek and you shall find.
My prayer is for all of us to experience a season of the Worm Hell of lack of Fellowship and Accountability, but only to build a hunger and thirst for the Kingdom. Begin to pray that God will reveal to you your own dryness and need for these missing elements.
Tuesday, December 18, 2012
Life Is a Highway: Where do we go from Newtown?
The past few days there have been tons of blogs, posts on social networks, news articles, television commentary and so much more. All the stages of grief are being covered for all of us. Denial...this couldn't happen in America. Anger...people lashing out at gun owners and gun owners lashing out at those who don't own guns. And the obvious, anger at the mentally challenged man who did this. Bargaining...this is represented in all the solutions that are being thrown around from gun control laws to concealed carry talk. Depression...most of us are realizing with a glum and dread that our country is out of control and we are saddened that the next generation of kids will not know the America of the Beaver, Spanky, Fonzy or Opie. Acceptance...this is the one we can't settle for. This is where most of us are at. And the President has finally found something that is bi-partison...we can't just Accept this.
So now we have to push ourselves to remember that Acceptance is just a Dead End Road in this situation. We can't just say in two years, "Remember Newtown?" If we do we will be comparing it to the next one. Most likely, it won't even take two years. But if we can't Accept it then "Where do we go from Newtown?"
I think the President's slogan may have a prophetic direction...Forward. We have to remember that LIFE is a Highway. We can't sit still on this one. We have to pick up and move on. Sure, we may put new laws in place, new precautions. Or we may find that we need to revisit some old ways. But sitting at a Dead End is not an option.
Now to get away from the metaphor let me focus on the LIFE part. No matter where we go with this event the one thing that we MUST do is regain the importance of LIFE. Guns are not the issue. Lack of prayer in school is NOT the issue. (I will touch on that in a moment). The issue is a total disrespect for LIFE. I posted the following on my Facebook page the other night in response to a friends disgust with people politicizing this issue:
"Whether it is gun control or pro-life people politicizing things. I posted something about abortion in relation to this issue, but it was not in a judgmental way. It was compassionate. The greater issue in our country is are total loss for respect for LIFE. That includes shooters in schools, drunken drivers, spousal abuse, child abuse, total gutting of mental health services, extremely violent video games, popular movies like SAW, and the list goes on. We have desensitized ourselves in EVERY way. Abortion on demand is but one piece in this puzzle. Shame on those who focus on abortion only and blame people for it. But shame on those who ignore abortion in the name of rape, incest and the life of the mother. These are the areas we must come together on. Less than 8% of all abortions are for this reason. One every 26 seconds. 3,000 a day! We can all compromise and raise the standards for protecting life. I have even found myself rethinking my position on the death penalty. Taking another life is the horror of all of this. Conservatives disturb me when they have a self-righteous attitude. I heard some say that we should expect this to happen when we take God out of schools? Really? Last time I checked Jesus confronted evil. I am convinced that his 'suffer the little children' speech didn't keep his presence out of schools just because a court decision took prayer out of schools. Besides, Scripture teaches that 'where two or three are gathered in my name I am in the midst of them'. That means that many of these innocent children were reason enough for his loving kindness to be there. I apologize for the self-righteous and I mourn the loss of ALL children, in the womb and out."
Jesus declared, "I came to give Life and Life more abundantly." All of us can agree that what happened in Newtown, Aurora, Virginia Tech, and Columbine were not "Life" and definitely not more "Life more Abundantly". But perhaps the biggest issue is we need to search for the source of Life, Jesus. We are in a serious need of a Great Awakening! Even the term Awakening implies being ALIVE! We need our country to turn back to a loving God who can perform some deep surgery on our hearts. Who declares that he will "replace our hearts of stone with one of flesh"; allowing us to feel again.
I am not saying that I believe everyone will follow Jesus or even accept this as the way to heal our culture. But what if just most of us did? What if just SOME of is did? If we could just see the churches that do exist have a renewed love for the things of God. Have a renewed fervor for taking care of the poor, the lost and the dying. Have a renewed vigor for the protection of the Womb. And I don't mean demanding no abortion in any case. Don't get me wrong, I, too, believe in no abortion. But what if we came to the table and said we'll compromise on rape, incest and the LIFE of the mother? And in that process demanded that we will leave women's choice alone as long as they go through a period of counseling (priests and preachers as legitimate resources) and a consult with a doctor. Truth is, that while aborting a child that was conceived in violent and violating acts like rape and incest is wrong, so is being heartless in understanding the trauma that these women go through. And, as part of that counseling, let adoption be promoted as a viable option. Wait, did I just use viable? That is another word for LIFE.
Simply put, Newtown's will happen less often if we raise the value of LIFE. In the meantime let's move Forward and pray desperately that the people of Newtown and especially the family of Sandy Hook Elementary School can move Forward from this lifeless experience. Jesus come and give us Life and Life more Abundantly!!!
So now we have to push ourselves to remember that Acceptance is just a Dead End Road in this situation. We can't just say in two years, "Remember Newtown?" If we do we will be comparing it to the next one. Most likely, it won't even take two years. But if we can't Accept it then "Where do we go from Newtown?"
I think the President's slogan may have a prophetic direction...Forward. We have to remember that LIFE is a Highway. We can't sit still on this one. We have to pick up and move on. Sure, we may put new laws in place, new precautions. Or we may find that we need to revisit some old ways. But sitting at a Dead End is not an option.
Now to get away from the metaphor let me focus on the LIFE part. No matter where we go with this event the one thing that we MUST do is regain the importance of LIFE. Guns are not the issue. Lack of prayer in school is NOT the issue. (I will touch on that in a moment). The issue is a total disrespect for LIFE. I posted the following on my Facebook page the other night in response to a friends disgust with people politicizing this issue:
"Whether it is gun control or pro-life people politicizing things. I posted something about abortion in relation to this issue, but it was not in a judgmental way. It was compassionate. The greater issue in our country is are total loss for respect for LIFE. That includes shooters in schools, drunken drivers, spousal abuse, child abuse, total gutting of mental health services, extremely violent video games, popular movies like SAW, and the list goes on. We have desensitized ourselves in EVERY way. Abortion on demand is but one piece in this puzzle. Shame on those who focus on abortion only and blame people for it. But shame on those who ignore abortion in the name of rape, incest and the life of the mother. These are the areas we must come together on. Less than 8% of all abortions are for this reason. One every 26 seconds. 3,000 a day! We can all compromise and raise the standards for protecting life. I have even found myself rethinking my position on the death penalty. Taking another life is the horror of all of this. Conservatives disturb me when they have a self-righteous attitude. I heard some say that we should expect this to happen when we take God out of schools? Really? Last time I checked Jesus confronted evil. I am convinced that his 'suffer the little children' speech didn't keep his presence out of schools just because a court decision took prayer out of schools. Besides, Scripture teaches that 'where two or three are gathered in my name I am in the midst of them'. That means that many of these innocent children were reason enough for his loving kindness to be there. I apologize for the self-righteous and I mourn the loss of ALL children, in the womb and out."
Jesus declared, "I came to give Life and Life more abundantly." All of us can agree that what happened in Newtown, Aurora, Virginia Tech, and Columbine were not "Life" and definitely not more "Life more Abundantly". But perhaps the biggest issue is we need to search for the source of Life, Jesus. We are in a serious need of a Great Awakening! Even the term Awakening implies being ALIVE! We need our country to turn back to a loving God who can perform some deep surgery on our hearts. Who declares that he will "replace our hearts of stone with one of flesh"; allowing us to feel again.
I am not saying that I believe everyone will follow Jesus or even accept this as the way to heal our culture. But what if just most of us did? What if just SOME of is did? If we could just see the churches that do exist have a renewed love for the things of God. Have a renewed fervor for taking care of the poor, the lost and the dying. Have a renewed vigor for the protection of the Womb. And I don't mean demanding no abortion in any case. Don't get me wrong, I, too, believe in no abortion. But what if we came to the table and said we'll compromise on rape, incest and the LIFE of the mother? And in that process demanded that we will leave women's choice alone as long as they go through a period of counseling (priests and preachers as legitimate resources) and a consult with a doctor. Truth is, that while aborting a child that was conceived in violent and violating acts like rape and incest is wrong, so is being heartless in understanding the trauma that these women go through. And, as part of that counseling, let adoption be promoted as a viable option. Wait, did I just use viable? That is another word for LIFE.
Simply put, Newtown's will happen less often if we raise the value of LIFE. In the meantime let's move Forward and pray desperately that the people of Newtown and especially the family of Sandy Hook Elementary School can move Forward from this lifeless experience. Jesus come and give us Life and Life more Abundantly!!!
Thursday, March 10, 2011
Day 2 and Not Totally Bad
So, I noticed every piece of Chocolate or candy my students ate today at school. But I was able to overcome that with God's help. What I noticed though is that my awareness was raised tremendously. I have found myself waking up before my alarm goes off and praying. I LOVE IT! God meets us like a willing lover as soon as we show the least bit of interest in spending time with him. I have a hard time reading or carving out time to read my bible every day. So, I decided to live beyond the self condemnation and use modern technology to my advantage. I downloaded the Bible on my old iPod and I am going to attempt to listen to it while I am out and about. After all Jesus said "Faith comes by HEARING" not reading. So, he wasn't caught up in the HOW but the discipline.
As far as sweets are concerned I am not living in a jail on this. I did have a reasonable piece of the cake my wife made. Funny thing is that, while I did not feel condemnation, I also did not feel any strange satisfaction of an urge to eats sweets. Perhaps God is going to deliver me of the "urge" and let it be an occasional pleasure.
And I did great being positive today...until. My wife and I were looking at some photos of a friend who is destroying his marriage. Let's just say I got sarcastic and angry with him. Mainly because I know he is choosing the wrong path and will, maybe, live to regret this. And I am watching him secretly destroy the inside of his wonderful bride. God is a God of mercy and justice though. I need to leave the sarcasim and cling to prayer. After all, "but for the grace of God go I".
As far as sweets are concerned I am not living in a jail on this. I did have a reasonable piece of the cake my wife made. Funny thing is that, while I did not feel condemnation, I also did not feel any strange satisfaction of an urge to eats sweets. Perhaps God is going to deliver me of the "urge" and let it be an occasional pleasure.
And I did great being positive today...until. My wife and I were looking at some photos of a friend who is destroying his marriage. Let's just say I got sarcastic and angry with him. Mainly because I know he is choosing the wrong path and will, maybe, live to regret this. And I am watching him secretly destroy the inside of his wonderful bride. God is a God of mercy and justice though. I need to leave the sarcasim and cling to prayer. After all, "but for the grace of God go I".
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Lent? Why should I do it?
"Lent is a time when many Christians prepare for Easter by observing a period of fasting, repentance, moderation and spiritual discipline. The purpose is to set aside time for reflection on Jesus Christ - his suffering and his sacrifice, his life, death, burial and resurrection."
I found this definition on about.com and thought it was a great description. Although recently a Catholic friend of mine said that her priest has encouraged their church to not focus on giving up something but "adding something to your life". A little less sacrificial but a good spin on this traditional Christian practice.
But I am not Catholic or associated with any of the few non-Catholic denominations that practice Lent. This could be my out right now. I should run to the candy machine while I still can.
But, as a believer, I am held to all of the above regardless of my church affiliation. "Fasting, repentance, moderation and spiritual discipline" are not Catholic, they are Christian. Reflection on the the sacrifice of Jesus for us all is required regradless of what group you are associated with.
My attraction to Lent I think comes from my deep desire to be closer to God. It has nothing to do with affiliation. I have met several people, especially in the African American community, that set aside the first month of the year for fasting, praying and seeking God for direction.
No matter how you label, spin or decorate it, as Christians we are called to such practices.
So, how do I start my journey this next 40 days? Well, I know God is behind me on this. First, I have become aware of my clear addiction to sweets. I crave them. That addiction has kept me from losing weight any more. I reached a 55 pound loss and stopped. I found that the cycle for me was craving salts and sweets every day throughout the day. I know that this is an addiction that keeps me in a constant cycle and it is a way of coping with my emotions. Let's face it, chocolate and sweets give us a rush of endorphens. These make us feel good. Nothing wrong with that. Except for me, I am constantly chasing that feeling. And he entire time I am poisoning my body. I am going to try to stop that cycle. So, how does my wife help me? Bakes my favorite chocolate cake last night. LOL She didn't do it intentionally. I called her evil though.
Second lent item was a challenge fromt the foreign language teachers to do together. We are going to try to not be critical of anyone for 40 days. 40 days!!! I need some chocolate. But this is a good practice and one that Jesus would encourage I am sure. So here goes nothing on that one.
Third, I am going to practice what my friend suggested. I am going to add somthing to my life to improve it. Daily prayer walks for both prayer time and exercise. Constant awareness to pray. And when I crave a sweet I am going to read the Word and/or pray. Even if it is a verse in the Bible.
We'll see how this goes. Keep me in Prayer! (And don't say anything negative and less you have a fist full of chocolate to give me when I fall. LOL)
I found this definition on about.com and thought it was a great description. Although recently a Catholic friend of mine said that her priest has encouraged their church to not focus on giving up something but "adding something to your life". A little less sacrificial but a good spin on this traditional Christian practice.
But I am not Catholic or associated with any of the few non-Catholic denominations that practice Lent. This could be my out right now. I should run to the candy machine while I still can.
But, as a believer, I am held to all of the above regardless of my church affiliation. "Fasting, repentance, moderation and spiritual discipline" are not Catholic, they are Christian. Reflection on the the sacrifice of Jesus for us all is required regradless of what group you are associated with.
My attraction to Lent I think comes from my deep desire to be closer to God. It has nothing to do with affiliation. I have met several people, especially in the African American community, that set aside the first month of the year for fasting, praying and seeking God for direction.
No matter how you label, spin or decorate it, as Christians we are called to such practices.
So, how do I start my journey this next 40 days? Well, I know God is behind me on this. First, I have become aware of my clear addiction to sweets. I crave them. That addiction has kept me from losing weight any more. I reached a 55 pound loss and stopped. I found that the cycle for me was craving salts and sweets every day throughout the day. I know that this is an addiction that keeps me in a constant cycle and it is a way of coping with my emotions. Let's face it, chocolate and sweets give us a rush of endorphens. These make us feel good. Nothing wrong with that. Except for me, I am constantly chasing that feeling. And he entire time I am poisoning my body. I am going to try to stop that cycle. So, how does my wife help me? Bakes my favorite chocolate cake last night. LOL She didn't do it intentionally. I called her evil though.
Second lent item was a challenge fromt the foreign language teachers to do together. We are going to try to not be critical of anyone for 40 days. 40 days!!! I need some chocolate. But this is a good practice and one that Jesus would encourage I am sure. So here goes nothing on that one.
Third, I am going to practice what my friend suggested. I am going to add somthing to my life to improve it. Daily prayer walks for both prayer time and exercise. Constant awareness to pray. And when I crave a sweet I am going to read the Word and/or pray. Even if it is a verse in the Bible.
We'll see how this goes. Keep me in Prayer! (And don't say anything negative and less you have a fist full of chocolate to give me when I fall. LOL)
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
Finding the Diamond
Seems these days I spend half my time sifting through the coal of my thoughts searching for the diamond of God's perfect will for me and my family. I see several opportunities to do the work of the Kingdom, or just plain work, and no clarity to which one is "the diamond". Or is it that I have a bag full of diamonds and just don't know which one to choose? I is really just a choice what we do for God? Do we over spiritualize instead of just living? For most I would say they have mastered the art of just "living for God". But as someone with a call to ministry I find it hard to just "live". I am compelled to do.
But which way do I go? Past experiences make me feel unsure. Presently realities make me feel unprepared or, at least, unwise it certain directions. Yet the fantasies of where I see "the diamond" are so grand and beyond my scope of possibilities that I find myself dreaming and not acting. But perhaps I must be reminded that diamonds aren't made at jewelry stores. They are made in the blackest of places under the most intense pressure, buried under an incredible amount of resistance from being freed. Perhaps my "diamond" is still in the rough.
But which way do I go? Past experiences make me feel unsure. Presently realities make me feel unprepared or, at least, unwise it certain directions. Yet the fantasies of where I see "the diamond" are so grand and beyond my scope of possibilities that I find myself dreaming and not acting. But perhaps I must be reminded that diamonds aren't made at jewelry stores. They are made in the blackest of places under the most intense pressure, buried under an incredible amount of resistance from being freed. Perhaps my "diamond" is still in the rough.
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
Full Circle
As I was riding home today and contemplating all that has happened in my life God revealed to me the thread of His sovereignty that has been running the the fabric of every event that has taken place.
It all starts when I was about 13 years old. My parents were at a traditional "campmeeting" service in Dunn, NC. It was held in a gym and there were doors on the side of the building that were directly in view of the altar. I, being the typical 13 year old, was outside running and playing with my friends. Suddenly I stopped and looked through the window seeing my dad at the altar with both hands raised and crying. I turned to my friend and said, "My family has been called to the mission field". I ran off and continued to play. Little did I know that the Holy Spirit spoke to running little boys. Two years later we moved to San Jose, Costa Rica.
Flash forward a few years and I was attending college at East Carolina University and studying Spanish. I was doing work-study in the foreign language lab when a young French student walked in. His name was Tad Williams, from Rocky Mount, NC. Immediately we connected and became friends. But, he being older, graduated and we lost connection for the next few years. I got married and moved an hour away from our university.
The first job I received as a teacher in a local middle school. The first day I walk in and there for his first day sat Tad. He and his new bride became my best friends. For the next ten years we remained close friends even though their path eventually led them to Maine. While I was studying in seminary I drew from my Pentecostal background and slammed it into my Baptist theology and presto, out popped the Vineyard. I had been exposed briefly to the Vineyard through the Toronto Blessing days and all the controversy surrounding the awesome move of God that happened there.
Prior to all of this happening with Tad and Stephanie I had met my first wife. She was from a state that I only knew existed by name. We drove to visit her parents who were stationed there with the military. I immediately fell in love with New England (although God had prepared my heart as a child with a love for the Boston Celtics, the Byrd days).
Now back to the seminary graduation. I had every intention at the time to be moving to New Hampshire and planting a church. The seminary had an initiative to plant 20 Southern Baptist churches in 10 years. Although I wasn't planning on planting a baptist church I did have a burden to plant there. I began to study it and the summer before graduation I went to New Hampshire with my wife to visit and see if this was God. I came back excited and knew that graduation was coming in December. But four months out of seminary the biggest attack of Satan came that I know now was his plan to take me out of the game. My wife of ten years decided she didn't want to be a pastor's wife. (Fine time to tell me. LOL) My life and vision went into a tail spin.
In the midst of this storm (I'll spare you the details) I called my friends Tad and Stephanie. I didn't know what to do. Steph asked me, "What was the last thing God told you to do?" To which I replied, "Move to New England and plant a church." She said, "Then why aren't you here." I moved. No job. All faith. The next year would be a spiritual journey during a painful separation.
Now the reconnection to my calling as a teenager to Costa Rica begins. The only job I could get was with a worship leader on Tad's worship team. His name was... Josh LaFrance. It get's better. While working on Josh's house his dad walked in. Though he may not remember it, I met a future friend in a very broken time in a very passing way. Rodney LaFrance would later become a great friend that I hold in great esteem.
For the next year I would move back to NC to attempt reconciliation only to still end up divorced. After toiling over condemnation of being a divorced minister, I felt peace to move forward with God and a church plant. In that process a mutual friend from NC had moved to Ohio to help some friends in a new church plant. The church was a New Life church and was pastored by Pastor Chittum. His cousin, Joe Chittum, was helping him plant the church. Joe was from a VINEYARD! His family had links to Boston and Joe knew he wanted to go to the East Coast. Joe became my friend and joined a Vineyard church plant team to New Hampshire that I was forming.
Back in NC our team visited New Hampshire and went to a Maine Vineyard conference at the Vineyard in Lewiston, ME. While there I met three people that would be intricate parts of my life. Eladio, a Costa Rican, was visiting. I introduced myself to him in Spanish and told him of my connections to Costa Rica. He made it a point that I meet his American host who was leading a trip to Costa Rica the next summer and wanted me to be a part of the team. Who was that man? Rodney LaFrance. We immediately connected (in March), by April I was on the team.
At the same conference I met a very important friend, Arthur Butt. His church was adopting into the Vineyard from Manchester, NH. Our connection was obviously the Vineyard and New Hampshire. Our relationship would blossom over the next couple of years and eventually he would become a mentor that I deeply admire.
Meanwhile, God was working a miracle of restoration in my life. I met a woman through and online dating service. Funny thing is Shelly was from Columbus, Ohio and happened to attend a familiar named church, New Life. It was a part of the same network as my other friend, Joe, had attended. It gets better.
After going to Costa Rica in July I married Shelly in August (mind you, I had known her for over two years at this point). We continued forming our team and moved to New Hampshire with our team in June, 2006. We had our daughter in August and started the church in September.
But in the Fall of 2006 we started planning a missions trip to Costa Rica. I wanted to see more of the churches in New Hampshire get involved in Costa Rica. But at the time most of them had other missions that they were involved in. So, we formed our first team with people from NH, Maine and Ohio. Most of the team was from Ohio. One member, Matt Thomas, was a friend of Shelly's before I met her. Matt invited a friend of his from New Life Gahanna. He invited a friend named Eric Obert. Eric was going through a tough time and felt a missions trip would be good for him.
Summer of 2006, I returned to Costa Rica with our team and got involved with Los Anonos where Rodney and Cindy LaFrance had moved to plant a church. While there, Eric and Matt caught the vision of the Vineyard mission there. They returned to New Life with a desire to get their church involved. By the Fall of 2007 we were already forming a new team to return to CR, but this time it was with New Life Gahanna. Their team leader, Brian Robertson, had led many mission teams to several different countries. But Costa Rica proved to be different for Brian. He caught a vision for Costa Rica and since has taken multiple teams and even another church to Harvest Hands ministry in Los Anonos. New Life has surpassed my wildest dreams in their involvement and support in CR. Eric and Matt have returned several times. The last trip for Eric included his new bride and Shelly's friend, Lisa. Small world or God?
Flash back to New Hampshire. Due to the economy we had to stop our involvement temporarily in both CR and NH. Lame excuse maybe but our reality. But back in New Hampshire Arthur's church was going through many changes. One of the strangest though was an influx of Costa Ricans. His best friends in ministry (and friends of mine now), Les and Diana Morris, had a new addition to their family. Their son, Jon, met Erica (a Costa Rican) and were married in a matter of months. God began to work on the Morris' about doing missions in CR and on the Manchester Vineyard to get involved in CR.
Now, we are looking at all of this and thinking ok God when are you going to pull this thread and make all of this come together. We know that none of this is a coincidence. Perhaps we will be in NH again, or in CR or neither or both. We just have no idea where this is going next. I am sure I have left out some details, but there is definitely the the Sovereign Thread of God. Just keep stitching God. We are ready, willing and able.
It all starts when I was about 13 years old. My parents were at a traditional "campmeeting" service in Dunn, NC. It was held in a gym and there were doors on the side of the building that were directly in view of the altar. I, being the typical 13 year old, was outside running and playing with my friends. Suddenly I stopped and looked through the window seeing my dad at the altar with both hands raised and crying. I turned to my friend and said, "My family has been called to the mission field". I ran off and continued to play. Little did I know that the Holy Spirit spoke to running little boys. Two years later we moved to San Jose, Costa Rica.
Flash forward a few years and I was attending college at East Carolina University and studying Spanish. I was doing work-study in the foreign language lab when a young French student walked in. His name was Tad Williams, from Rocky Mount, NC. Immediately we connected and became friends. But, he being older, graduated and we lost connection for the next few years. I got married and moved an hour away from our university.
The first job I received as a teacher in a local middle school. The first day I walk in and there for his first day sat Tad. He and his new bride became my best friends. For the next ten years we remained close friends even though their path eventually led them to Maine. While I was studying in seminary I drew from my Pentecostal background and slammed it into my Baptist theology and presto, out popped the Vineyard. I had been exposed briefly to the Vineyard through the Toronto Blessing days and all the controversy surrounding the awesome move of God that happened there.
Prior to all of this happening with Tad and Stephanie I had met my first wife. She was from a state that I only knew existed by name. We drove to visit her parents who were stationed there with the military. I immediately fell in love with New England (although God had prepared my heart as a child with a love for the Boston Celtics, the Byrd days).
Now back to the seminary graduation. I had every intention at the time to be moving to New Hampshire and planting a church. The seminary had an initiative to plant 20 Southern Baptist churches in 10 years. Although I wasn't planning on planting a baptist church I did have a burden to plant there. I began to study it and the summer before graduation I went to New Hampshire with my wife to visit and see if this was God. I came back excited and knew that graduation was coming in December. But four months out of seminary the biggest attack of Satan came that I know now was his plan to take me out of the game. My wife of ten years decided she didn't want to be a pastor's wife. (Fine time to tell me. LOL) My life and vision went into a tail spin.
In the midst of this storm (I'll spare you the details) I called my friends Tad and Stephanie. I didn't know what to do. Steph asked me, "What was the last thing God told you to do?" To which I replied, "Move to New England and plant a church." She said, "Then why aren't you here." I moved. No job. All faith. The next year would be a spiritual journey during a painful separation.
Now the reconnection to my calling as a teenager to Costa Rica begins. The only job I could get was with a worship leader on Tad's worship team. His name was... Josh LaFrance. It get's better. While working on Josh's house his dad walked in. Though he may not remember it, I met a future friend in a very broken time in a very passing way. Rodney LaFrance would later become a great friend that I hold in great esteem.
For the next year I would move back to NC to attempt reconciliation only to still end up divorced. After toiling over condemnation of being a divorced minister, I felt peace to move forward with God and a church plant. In that process a mutual friend from NC had moved to Ohio to help some friends in a new church plant. The church was a New Life church and was pastored by Pastor Chittum. His cousin, Joe Chittum, was helping him plant the church. Joe was from a VINEYARD! His family had links to Boston and Joe knew he wanted to go to the East Coast. Joe became my friend and joined a Vineyard church plant team to New Hampshire that I was forming.
Back in NC our team visited New Hampshire and went to a Maine Vineyard conference at the Vineyard in Lewiston, ME. While there I met three people that would be intricate parts of my life. Eladio, a Costa Rican, was visiting. I introduced myself to him in Spanish and told him of my connections to Costa Rica. He made it a point that I meet his American host who was leading a trip to Costa Rica the next summer and wanted me to be a part of the team. Who was that man? Rodney LaFrance. We immediately connected (in March), by April I was on the team.
At the same conference I met a very important friend, Arthur Butt. His church was adopting into the Vineyard from Manchester, NH. Our connection was obviously the Vineyard and New Hampshire. Our relationship would blossom over the next couple of years and eventually he would become a mentor that I deeply admire.
Meanwhile, God was working a miracle of restoration in my life. I met a woman through and online dating service. Funny thing is Shelly was from Columbus, Ohio and happened to attend a familiar named church, New Life. It was a part of the same network as my other friend, Joe, had attended. It gets better.
After going to Costa Rica in July I married Shelly in August (mind you, I had known her for over two years at this point). We continued forming our team and moved to New Hampshire with our team in June, 2006. We had our daughter in August and started the church in September.
But in the Fall of 2006 we started planning a missions trip to Costa Rica. I wanted to see more of the churches in New Hampshire get involved in Costa Rica. But at the time most of them had other missions that they were involved in. So, we formed our first team with people from NH, Maine and Ohio. Most of the team was from Ohio. One member, Matt Thomas, was a friend of Shelly's before I met her. Matt invited a friend of his from New Life Gahanna. He invited a friend named Eric Obert. Eric was going through a tough time and felt a missions trip would be good for him.
Summer of 2006, I returned to Costa Rica with our team and got involved with Los Anonos where Rodney and Cindy LaFrance had moved to plant a church. While there, Eric and Matt caught the vision of the Vineyard mission there. They returned to New Life with a desire to get their church involved. By the Fall of 2007 we were already forming a new team to return to CR, but this time it was with New Life Gahanna. Their team leader, Brian Robertson, had led many mission teams to several different countries. But Costa Rica proved to be different for Brian. He caught a vision for Costa Rica and since has taken multiple teams and even another church to Harvest Hands ministry in Los Anonos. New Life has surpassed my wildest dreams in their involvement and support in CR. Eric and Matt have returned several times. The last trip for Eric included his new bride and Shelly's friend, Lisa. Small world or God?
Flash back to New Hampshire. Due to the economy we had to stop our involvement temporarily in both CR and NH. Lame excuse maybe but our reality. But back in New Hampshire Arthur's church was going through many changes. One of the strangest though was an influx of Costa Ricans. His best friends in ministry (and friends of mine now), Les and Diana Morris, had a new addition to their family. Their son, Jon, met Erica (a Costa Rican) and were married in a matter of months. God began to work on the Morris' about doing missions in CR and on the Manchester Vineyard to get involved in CR.
Now, we are looking at all of this and thinking ok God when are you going to pull this thread and make all of this come together. We know that none of this is a coincidence. Perhaps we will be in NH again, or in CR or neither or both. We just have no idea where this is going next. I am sure I have left out some details, but there is definitely the the Sovereign Thread of God. Just keep stitching God. We are ready, willing and able.
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