Worm Hell: Discovering the Importance of Fellowship and Accountability

 Fellowship and Accountability: An inseperable necessity in the Kingdom of God

I once wrote a poem many years ago that talked about that feeling that one gets when he walks across a sidewalk in the middle of the summer with no shoes own.  You know that feeling.  Your toes feel like they are on fire.  The idea of Worm Hell was based on glancing down at the sidewalk that you just crossed and seeing a perfectly recognizable worm that had dried up and died right in the middle of that sidewalk.  We all know exactly why he died.  He was not in a nurturing environment.

A little over a year ago my wife and I, through the encouragement of my parents, decided to become ordained with a mainline denomination.  Mind you, this denomination is very large, very influential ; making the decision to join a much easier one.  But today I find myself ready to resign from the denomination because of two major components that we have not had: Fellowship and Accountability.

But this is not a characteristic of this group alone.  This can be found in almost every major denomination today.  And, because of American society in particular, we see it magnified in our church culture.  Let's face it, America was founded on independence.  The end results has been a sense of "You leave me alone and I will leave you alone".  And, politically speaking, that is probably a good idea.  But in the Kingdom of God it is a violation of the values of Jesus.

Going back to the Garden of Eden God declares that "it is not good for a man to be alone".  He took time to create a helpmate, someone to fellowship with and someone to be responsible (accountable) to. 

And in John 13:35 Jesus says this:  ^"By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”  It could read "all people will know that you are my disciplined ones".  And discipline requires accountability.  So, we see that these special ingredients are values that we all must have.  Not Fellowship alone.  Not Accountability alone.  But Both.  This creates a nurturing environment that encourages a healthy Christian walk.

Living where we have been for the past three and a half years has been our Worm Hell (and this is not a reference to the unbearable heat that Southeastern NC offers to snow lovers). I say that not because I don't have a wonderful place to work.  I couldn't ask for a better place to work or a better relationship with my boss.  And, it isn't because we are far from family.  Quite the opposite.  Family is less than an hour away and it is great to be near them (this is perhaps the hardest part for me personally to change).  And it isn't about not having a church to attend that we love the people at.  Shoreline Church is a good church.

But it is this weird feeling of being in the middle of the sidewalk.  You know, you just don't quite belong.  Your environment is warm and easy to get around on but you just aren't in the place that makes you feel...cozy.  I am not talking about comfort here.  I am talking about being in the environment that you thrive in.  For us it is a combination of things.  But I want to put this in a series of questions with possible answers.

Question 1: Do you have a sense of community?

Answer: No. 

Question 2: Do you have healthy relationships that result in Fellowship and Accountability?

Answer: No. 

Question 3: Do you connect with a church in your community?

Answer: No

Question 4: Are you accountable to anyone?

Answer: No.

Question 5: Do you have a sense of purpose or mission in your community?

Answer: No.

My answers are dominantly "no".  But, if you can answer "yes" to these questions then you are probably in a healthy place for you spiritually and you need to stay put. If you couldn't answer "yes" to these questions then you are either a) in a place where you could be healthy or b) resisting the changes God wants to make in you so you are healthy.

But, if, like myself, you answered "no" then you may need to evaluate why you are stuck in Worm Hell.  Note here, I did not say you were not in the center of the Father's will.  The worm, like Paul, is in his own desert place.  He starts out inching his way through this time of being alone, with no obstruction (i.e. grass, other bugs, etc.).

You may be like that.  You may be in what seems like the middle of nowhere and no idea when you will get there.  Or for that matter what "there" is.  And it is real easy to get so comfortable or miserable or faithless or have deferred hope that, like the worm, you just stop moving.  You know you can't go back but you don't move forward.  It is in that place and in that moment that you die, dry up and blow away.

Unlike the worm, you MUST look ahead, walk by faith and know that when you get to the 'other side' you will be alright.  The New Testament is loaded with language of not giving up, pressing onward and running the race.  Nowhere does it say stop, shrivel up and die.

But, this begs the question, "When do we know to move forward to that nurturing environment?" This may sound cliché, but I think you just know.  I think you reach this point where God makes it very clear that if you stay here much longer you are going to shrivel up and die.

That seems to be where I am at.  I am in a place, personally, where I know that God has a calling on my life to do the work of the Kingdom.  It isn't for everyone, but for me, anything less places in me in danger of Worm Hell.

What about you? Are you in Worm Hell?  Are you between nurturing environments?  Have you found yourself in a "dry and weiry land"?

If you have you can only do a few of things::
1. You can go back to the environment that you came from that you know was good for you. 
2. You can move forward to the next environment you are suppose to be in that will be nurturing.
3. You can stop moving and make your permanent residence in Worm Hell.

Worm Hell is not the permanent address of the Christian walk.  Look at God's response to Jonah's Worm Hell experience in Jonah 4:
⁵ Jonah went out of the city and sat to the east of the city and made a booth for himself there. He sat under it in the shade, till he should see what would become of the city. ⁶ Now the Lord God appointed a plant^[b] and made it come up over Jonah, that it might be a shade over his head, to save him from his discomfort.^[c] So Jonah was exceedingly glad because of the plant. ⁷ But when dawn came up the next day, God appointed a worm that attacked the plant, so that it withered. ⁸ When the sun rose, God appointed a scorching east wind, and the sun beat down on the head of Jonah so that he was faint. And he asked that he might die and said, “It is better for me to die than to live.” ⁹ But God said to Jonah, “Do you do well to be angry for the plant?” And he said, “Yes, I do well to be angry, angry enough to die.” ¹⁰ And the Lord said, “You pity the plant, for which you did not labor, nor did you make it grow, which came into being in a night and perished in a night. ¹¹ And should not I pity Nineveh, that great city, in which there are more than 120,000 persons who do not know their right hand from their left, and also much cattle?”

God did not allow Jonah to sit down and die.  He gave him a season in Worm Hell and even gave him some comfort.  But he quickly destroyed his comfort, thus encouraging him to move on.  

This is what God is in the business of.  He takes us to those dry places to make us long of more.  More of him, more of his Kingdom.  He promises us in Matthew 5:6 "Blessed are those who hunger and thirst after righteousness, for they shall be filled (satisfied)."  

Isn't that the irony the Kingdom?  We have to be placed in our own Worm Hell in order to learn to Hunger and Thirst again.

Perhaps you have reached that place where you need Fellowship and Accountability.  Maybe you find yourself in the middle of your own Worm Hell.  Press on.  Or go back.  But never stop.  Ask and it shall be given. Seek and you shall find.  

My prayer is for all of us to experience a season of the Worm Hell of lack of Fellowship and Accountability, but only to build a hunger and thirst for the Kingdom.  Begin to pray that God will reveal to you your own dryness and need for these missing elements.